Entering into the world of becoming a teacher before I was afraid that I was not going to be enough to become a teacher. I was afraid that I did not have what it takes. I have always been good with kids and they seemed to like me just as much as I liked spending time with them, so I have always wanted to become a teacher some day. Although I have lots to learn still, tutoring has instilled hope in me for my future as a teacher. I am so excited to not only help children learn, but learn everyday myself. On the great days of tutoring when there are no outside distractions my tutee and I find a wonderful flow where we get through the whole lesson and make lots of progress. She has been struggling with letter reversals between “d” and “b”. One day, though, something clicked internally for her and a light turned on in her brain and we figured out what will help her remember the difference between the two. That feeling that I had when smiled and had faith that she could learn and grow in her reading and writing was euphoric. It is very frustrating when I just can’t understand something, and she just like I am on myself is very hard on herself and all she wants to be able to do is read. With every step of progress we make I know that I was meant to become a teacher because I want to help other children just as I have been helping her and the best part of it all is that we have so much more to learn from one another. I am concerned sometimes about saying the wrong thing when I am teaching or messing up. I know that it is okay to mess up, but I suppose I am not used to jumping into “teacher mode” quite yet and sometimes I use words that I normally wouldn’t use in a teacher setting. Not anything inappropriate just that it is hard for me to not talk to the kids like I talk to my friends. By that I mean I feel as though I speak fairly casual to my tutee, and to me that is not a good way to establish respect and authority. I just feel like I am too nice sometimes and it is hard for me to say no so then kids feel like they can get away with more with me. I suppose that could be due to my age, but I definitley think more time and practice on it will resolve this concern. Another reason why I am excited for teaching is that I will never get bored of it because no day is the same as the rest. Not one day of tutoring is the same because we work on different material and we have different conversations. I have found out that kids tell awesome stories, they are great to hear and very amusing. I assume that teaching will be the same exact way which is great because then I will never be bored in my career, and I will always have a story to tell. Although some kids stories are great and amusing, some are not so amusing and they can say some pretty devastating things about their home life. This worries me a lot not because they will say the bad things because I think it’s good for them to talk to an adult they trust and feel comfortable doing that, but I am worried that I will say the wrong thing or not know what to say at all. I hope through time I will learn the things to say in situations like that. I say this because when I was tutoring my tutee told me on the day that they were celebrating Dia de Los Muertos that her sister would have turned 16 this year, but she passed away. This tragic piece of her life that she shared with me took me by surprise, and at first I froze up worried that I would say the wrong thing. I feel as though I handled the situation well, but it was still frightening. Overall I am excited to become a teacher for many reasons, but I know that there is a lot that I still need to work on and learn in order to enter the teaching world as the best teacher I can be.
